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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The No-Show-ers

I have become somewhat obsessed with no-show-ers. Who are they and why? Are they rude or just forgetful? Do they think it is no big deal or do they know it's wrong & just don't give a crap? I think that no-show-ers can be placed into several categories and you can almost tell who will no show by examining the details surrounding the appointment booking.

Most—if not all--people who claim to be in pain, yet don't want to be seen that day, will no show. I don't understand this one, but it's true.

No show rates for vasectomies or infertility consults seem to double if the wife, rather than the husband, makes the appointment.

Self-pay patients no show more frequently than do insurance patients, unless it is an uninsured man who sees something on his penis. They always show up.

I have never seen a racial difference, but there is definitely a socio-economic difference; the very poor and the very wealthy no-show equally.

Young people no show more than the elderly. When an elderly patient of mine no shows, I start calling the hospitals!

Working people only no-show on Saturdays or in the evenings. . .or on holidays.

Retired people never no-show.

People who refuse to leave us their cell phone number typically no show.

People whose phone goes right to voicemail no show much more than do people who answer their phones.

People who return your calls never no show.

People that try to get a free consult over the phone while they are making the appointment will almost always no-show.

100% of people who ask for a free vas reversal consult will ultimately no show.

I noticed a trend, p value <0.05, that people who find me via the organic google rankings no show more than those who find me via paid listings.

Requiring intensive directions to my office predicts future no-showage. (And I'm on a major road in a big, well marked and well lit building)

Oh, I have a patient now. Thanks.

Geeze, I'd have figured that he would have no-showed. Oh well.

The IU.